Keith Chambers (salivar) wrote,
Keith Chambers

Fight through misery.

It's really, really funny that after I post a huge deal of a blog that proudly exclaims "I will fight through this because I think this pain is temporary" there's an immediate hit of more pain, more setbacks, and more worries. It's a tough road, one that has many dips and drops and shit to deal with. I sometimes wish I could just cancel out days and get to the good stuff, but life isn't like that at all -- you have to fight for everything, every day, good, bad, or amazingly neutral.

I go back to the same job on July 24th, I believe. Maybe a day earlier. Maybe a day later. Same position, same everything, just equipped with medication that will (hopefully) get me through various rough patches of emotion. Cannot change the co-workers, cannot change the hours. Maybe I could get a different task within the workplace... but I doubt it. Oh well -- I'll try and deal with that set of emotions once I get there.

I fear the future because there's miles and miles of uncertainty, change, and questionable times that lay ahead of myself. It's smart to say "One day at a time" but I don't know if that's believable or achievable.

I just gotta keep plugging away.

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