Agh!

I jumped in so you didn't have to: Polar Bear Plunge me

2010-01-04T18:09:24Z

Now, some of you did the Polar Bear Plunge. Good job. Others did not. So, I am going to provide a recap of my PBP experience.

Night before: Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep in the New Year. No anything to celebrate, just a whole lot of Z's. I deserved it and also didn't really want to run around that night -- too much insanity.

4:30 AM: Finally decide to get up, post a note on friend's wall assuring him that yes, you will come and do the plunge.

4:30-10:15 AM: Have second thoughts.

10:15 AM: Shower. Why? Well, why the hell not. Might see a cute girl there. Doubtful, but worth a shot.

10:25 AM: Shave. Why?

10:30 AM: Set foot for Haggen, where you are to meet up with your fellow Polar Bear Plungers. Still time to back out. Grab breakfast of breakfast cookie and Superfood and promise your breakfast will be this healthy at least eight more times this year.

10:50 AM: They finally show up, and give you a wave, because they don't want to get out of their car. Too windy. 'Scuse me?

11:04 AM: Show up at Lake Padden, park creatively. State your ankle isn't good enough to do the lake lap walk (which it isn't), walk around and notice everything about everyone.

11:15 AM: Some kid just finished his lake lap. Are you serious.

11:15:01 AM: Yep, cross country runner.

11:25 AM: Fondly reminisce on past attempts at the Polar Bear Plunge:

2003: You were late, went in, kind of fell, totally wrecked your foot, walked around with a protest limp for the rest of the day.

2009: Lost glasses doing the Polar Bear Plunge after a Night of Mayhem.

So things haven't worked out so well.

11:35 AM: Use the bathroom before you plunge. Always a good decision.

11:45 AM: Begin task of disrobing and getting acclimated to weather. While in dressing room, hear about someone asking if showers are hot. They aren't. Why aren't you standing under one of those things, getting used to the water temperature?

11:50 AM: Dis-robing announcement is officially made. Make Nelly jokes (So hot in here...) even though there's a 25 mph wind factor.

11:52 AM: Take off glasses so you don't lose them in the lake. Always a good decision. Hide them in jacket sleeve. Even better decision. Walk down to water's edge with zero knowledge of how long you're going to be waiting there. Yikes.

11:56 AM: Get out in front of everyone. Ask someone "So, does that clock say 11:56?" and hear their hopeful response: "Nope, 11:58." Oh geez. Guess you're really doing this. In what seems like two seconds people start to count it down from 10 better than Dick Clark could. That leads to...

11:59:58 AM: DON'T DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At least that's what your body's telling you.

12:00:00 PM: People behind you shout "Happy New Year" and, well, you begin your slow descent into the lake. First couple steps aren't bad, you can do this! Then you get passed by people who are more crazy than you'll ever be.

12:00:10 PM: Now you're starting to feel the cold as the water gets up to your knees and you buckle a bit. As people are passing you they're splashing your upper body. You're conflicted about this: "Don't splash me!" is what one side tells you, the other side says "Man, that's how cold it is?" This is beginning to seem like a terrible idea, and then...

12:00:15 PM: SHRINKAGE! You wish someone could take a picture of your face, because it feels like it's turning inside out. At least it'd make for a better photo than the one you have on your ID. Try as hard as you can to force yourself under, but as the water gets over your waistline, your central nervous system is so cold you wonder if you've ben breathing or not but the water's so cold, all you feel is anger and hostility towards this new decade. First of all, why are all the cute girls so far away? Second of all, who's going to notice if I walk out of here? Finally you convince yourself to kneel slowly. Finally your stomach is in. Your chest is in. Your nipples are so hard they could cut platinum. And then...

12:00:22 PM: You finally dunk your head in what could be seen as the world's fastest head dunking in the history of mankind. You're still pissed off, but at least you can get out of the water, knowing you're done with that. Still really mad.

12:00:45 PM: When half your body gets out of the cold lake (or "that lake" as your manager will call it merely one night later) you feel proud and all of a sudden really, really warm. Finally you smile.

12:01 PM: You climb out of the lake and walk on the grass. Someone you know runs into you somehow, and you utter a marvelous quote, one you hope you say sparingly this year: "I just got poked by a doctor!" Fantastic.

12:02 PM: Exercise over, take off the British Knights which served you so well this last year and leave them at the park, where you hope someone who needs them will take them.

12:04 PM: Life returns to normal, and it's Haggen-ese and the Rose Bowl for the rest of the day.

salivar @ 2010-01-04T09:28:00

2010-01-04T17:28:33Z

Please note: Don't worry too much about this list unless you'd like to know how some of my friends (and maybe your friends) have done in a silly little Fantasy Football League inspired by a truly remarkable business.

Point system: 16 points is awarded for a first place finish, 8 for 2nd, 4 for 3rd, 2 for 4th, 1 for 5th, no points for 6th, -1 7th, -2 8th, -3 9th, -4 10th.

Legend: Owner -- points (season where points were accumulated).

Evan Boyd -- 16 (2005), 0 (2006), 2 (2007), 8 (2008), 0 (2009) -- 26 total
Tyler Boyd -- 8 (2005), 1 (2006), 8 (2007), -2 (2008), -4 (2009) -- 11 total
Ryan Minson -- 4 (2005), -2 (2006) -- 2 total
Keith Chambers -- 2 (2005), 4 (2006), 1 (2007), 4 (2008), 8 (2009) -- 19 total
A.J. Zopolos -- 1 (2005)
Jeremy Foster -- 0 (2005)
Chris Blankenhorn -- -1 (2005)
Tam Phan -- -2 (2005), -1 (2006) -- -3 total
Cody Lingbloom -- -3 (2005)
Sam Marroy -- -4 (2005)
Allen Farwell -- 16 (2006), 4 (2007), -4 (2008) -- 16 total
Eric Edquist -- 8 (2006), -4 (2007), 0 (2008), 16 (2009) -- 20 total
Rickey Corey -- 2 (2006)
Kevin Tull -- -3 (2006), -1 (2008), 4 (2009) -- 0 total
Jared Feaver -- -4 (2006)
Kyle Burgraff -- 16 (2007), 2 (2008), 2 (2009) -- 20 total
Late Recruit -- 0 (2007)
Hannah Meadows -- -1 (2007)
Joel Morse -- -2 (2007)
Drew Gale -- -3 (2007)
Bryan Weimer -- 16 (2008), -3 (2009) -- 13 total
Brett Hartle -- 1 (2008), 1 (2009) -- 2 total
Nick Wallace -- -3 (2008)
Eric Riggs -- -2 (2009)
Derek Andricos -- -1 (2009)

Top point-getters:

1. Evan Boyd, 26., five seasons. First championship winner, and since then...
T-2. Eric Edquist, 20, four seasons. First ever winner when there's cash on the line.
T-2. Kyle Burgraff, 20, three seasons.
4. Keith Chambers, 19, five seasons. Zero championships. Had I won this year I'd top the list.
5. Allen Farwell, 16, three seasons. Allen, you're in next season, respond to my e-mails quicker.
6. Bryan Weimer, 13. two seasons. Championship one year, next to last the following. I don't know what he'll do next season.
7. Tyler Boyd, 11, five seasons. Another five year owner who's never won the 'ship. This is frustrating.
T-8. Ryan Minson, 2, two seasons. Fun fact about Ryan Minson: He picked up Rich Gannon as his starting quarterback in 2005, the year Rich Gannon started announcing for CBS. There was even a Fantasy Note on it happening and everything. Yet he picked him up and started him. And Rich Gannon, with zero points, scored more than his other QB Patrick Ramsey (-3 points). So maybe that WAS the right move.
T-8. Rickey Corey, 2, one season. Rickey Corey's whereabouts are unknown.
T-8. Brett Hartle, 2, two seasons.
11. AJ Zopolos, 1, one season. AJ Zopolos' time in the SCWL was like his time at the Sunset Car Wash: Confusing and un-productive. He's probably a scientist.
T-12. Jeremy Foster, 0, one season.
T-12. Kevin Tull, 0, three seasons. K-Tull was destined for worse until he was spared by the likes of Chris Johnson and Frank Gore.
T-12. Late Recruit, 0, one season. Evan, who is this guy?
T-15. Chris Blankenhorn, -1, one season. Chris is, indeed, engaged. Wonderful news, congratulations man.
T-15. Hannah Meadows, -1, one season. Fun fact about Hannah Meadows: I tried to court this CWU student and then I invited her to play Fantasy Football. Her and I haven't spoken since.
T-15. Derek Andricos, -1, one season, but WHAT A FINISH by Derek.
T-18. Joel Morse, -2, one season.
T-18. Eric Riggs, -2, one season, and you STILL owe me $20.
T-20. Tam Phan, -3, two seasons. Only owner who's ever finished with negative points their first season, came back, played again, and received negative points. Oh my.
T-20. Drew Gale, -3, one season.
T-20. Nick Wallace, -3, one season. Great entertaining draft though.
T-23. Sam Marroy, -4, one season.
T-23. Jared Feaver, -4. (One win in his glorious season. One.)

So there we go, Sunset Car Wash League: Five Years Strong.

What I'm thankful for

2009-11-26T23:19:53Z

Yeah, you've read these, but it's finally time for me to post one. Huzzah.

Firstly, I'm thankful my friend, Jarrod Linder, made it back safely from his tour of duty in Iraq. There's always been this lump in my stomach whenever I hear about one of my friends going off to war... And when Jon Santos got shelled in Karabilah, that only intensified. So it's a huge relief to hear about someone getting back safe after you read about him being in the line of fire for so long.

Secondly, I'm thankful I found a good roommate in my current housemate, Mykul. I can't stress enough the fact we get along quite well and share interests, but the man is also immaculately clean. I attempt to follow his example.

Thirdly, I'm thankful I developed resolve after this, the year of personal injury. Lost my glasses, killed my knee, and busted my ankle in an 8 1/2 month span. I also developed a physical/mental resolve from working with honest co-workers who aren't afraid to bust my chops... I can either bust right back or learn to accept I am wrong and become acccountable.

Finally, I'm thankful to be in such a loving family, and I am also thankful for the opportunity to be an uncle, which is coming up in a few short months.

God bless and good eatin' -- Keith

How about now?

2009-11-23T09:29:08Z

Well, how about now? Now's as good a time as any to say this, so I will...

It's my birthday. 26.

So here's the deal. I know I won't get a chance to run into a lot of you guys, but I wanted to tell you all you're amazing and I love you all. Fair? Good.

Now take it one step further. Do something today you normally wouldn't do. Love it. Then report back to me with your findings. I don't want my birthday to only be a celebration of me, that's selfish. Please, do some fact findin' and celebratin' and take advantage of this Monday. Go out there and shake it. Shake it hard. Make sure Monday never messes with you again. Tell Monday where to go with its depression, its direness, its lack of self worth. Tell something to someone you've wanted to say for years but somehow could not find the courage. Take two pennies from the penny cup. Laugh heartily. Feed the poor. Be a real man (or woman) and do something you've never done before with my drive as your motivation and know that somewhere out there this world, despite the difficulties we face day in and day out, is still there for our enjoyment, every which way imaginable.

God bless and good luck -- Keith

Way-ooooooo...

2009-11-22T15:07:10Z

ONE day until my birthday. I wish I had something more to say but nope... getting close. NFL in a couple hours, that's the best part of my damn Sunday. Sure will miss it in seven weeks.

--Keith

My birthday list...

2009-10-20T07:49:02Z

Alright. First of all, I am getting older and want practical things for my birthday. Practical meaning boring. In fact, it's gotten so boring that instead of things, I'd like to have experiences happen on my birthday. This list has possibly been done before, but screw it, I'm waiting for laundry to dry and I am laid up with an annihilated ankle. So, without further adieu...

THE BIRTHDAY LIST -- EXPERIENCES AHOY!

7 AM, November 23, 2009: Get birthday wake-up call from Alexarc Mastema, asking if it's okay to bring over some birthday coffee.

7:02 AM: Get out of bed, kick out my trophy of the night for eating cookies in bed.

7:30 AM: Alexarc shows up with a birthday coffee and a song. In exchange I give Alexarc my trophy of the night.

7:55 AM: Decide to go for walk along Sehome Hill while the sun rises.

8:08 AM: As I head out, the rain stops and the sky clears, just for me.

8:45 AM: Run up Sehome Hill Tower and get a perfect view of the sun breaking out over Bellingham.

9:00 AM: Find a man choking on brambleberries and save his life. Give first interview of the day with local paper, say "It's all in the hips" seven times.

9:20 AM: Get home, shower, listen as the rain starts up again. Smile.

9:55 AM: Still in the shower.

10:30 AM: Get out of shower, watch NFL Network replaying Seahawks 44-10 win over the Minnesota Vikings from the previous day.

11 AM: Receive phone call from Peter King, asking if I want to write a section in Tuesday's Sports Illustrated column. Agree to do so.

11:04 AM: Receive phone call from work, asking if I could possibly come in tonight. Laugh for seventeen straight minutes.

11:21 AM: Politely tell work "Nope."

12:18 PM: Lunch at Bob's Burgers and Brew downtown. I mention it's my birthday, they mention I can have the keys for the night. Awesome.

12:41 PM: Receive phone call from Michelle Beadle of ESPN2's SportsNation, asking for some pre-episode advice. I tell her to punch Colin in the face.

1:45 PM: Receive startling text message that SportsNation had to roll out replacement host for Colin Cowherd because he was punched in the face. Smile.

1:58 PM: Receive phone call from Bellingham Herald because I am being honored with "Sports Personality of Fall Season." Give another interview where I say "It's all in the hips" a few more times.

2:20 PM: More coffee, this time I go to the Black Drop, ask Alexarc "What'd you do with the girl I gave you?" and laugh, whole heartedly, at response.

2:28 PM: Basketball practice. I proceed to make every shot I attempt and even score on someone who's blocked my lights out on occasion.

4:45 PM: Leave basketball practice, get picked up by friend for birthday dinner.

4:51 PM: Receive phone call from Peter King asking where my article is. Tell him "Oh, I'll just send you something I wrote for my fantasy league."

4:59 PM: Receive phone call from Joe Posnanski (my favorite sportswriter) asking if I could do an interview. Accept, but tell him it's better to do so in person.

5:05 PM: Look at my fantasy teams. Win by 70, win by 80, win by 90. Smile.

5:08 PM: Sit down at Eric's house and get ready for Steve Edquist's ribs -- a perfect birthday meal. Could not ask for anything better.

5:25 PM: Watch Texans v. Titans on Monday Night Football while I devour my first rack of ribs.

5:55 PM: Jeff Fisher's head asplode.

6:48 PM: Perfect evening of football, meat, Stella Artois and good company.

7:21 PM: Receive call from Peter King, saying the article was great, but did I have to swear so much? My response: "The fuck you talking about? Just leave it in."

7:30 PM: Ace Jeopardy!, every category, front to back.

8:00 PM: Post-game burgers at Bob's, followed by a heroic karaoke session.

9:30 PM: Walk past Herald building, screaming "IT'S ALL IN THE HIPS!!!"

9:45 PM: Run into dream girl, buy her a drink, sit down and get to talking.

10:45 PM: Buy her another drink, take her on home, have a very, very happy birthday.

11:59 PM: Scream "It's all in the hips" long into the night.

12:01 AM, November 24, 2009: Ask if she eats cookies in bed.

--Keith

October 5/6, 2009.

2009-10-06T06:10:19Z

I love LiveJournal and my pocket of friends here because it's not everyone I know. Here, I know that a couple friends whom I have met and love hanging out with are on here on occasion and read some of my stuff. Also a couple people whom I have NOT met but still regularly interact with check it out too. It's more secretive, more dark, more awesome.

This is where I come to think about things that are scary to me.

It scares me that I am unable to do my job at work and that doctors (DOCTORS!!!) have said I need to rest. This creates a void in a few facets...

Money, obviously, but we all have gone through that. Blah, blah, blah, I don't work enough to support myself, blah, blah, blah. LOOK. In this world, you HAVE to survive. I have to survive. Hamsters poop on obituaries and funerals are forgotten, plus the one person you hope to show up will miss it for some other reason. So let's move on.

Fat blob. Without work that is what I am turning into. I lay around. I do nothing. Crutching long distances is pretty much my only workout and that works some hidden muscle group nobody knows about (or can even see). I've got to get a little inspiration for perspiration.

Awesome roommate. I have one, and want to be one, but I am nervous about what happens if I start sucking. My roommate appreciates what I have to offer, I just need to not overdo the crap and focus on the cream that gets me through each ongoing day. I don't want to piss the roommate off. I do want to be able to have a warm, respectable place to come home to, no dark clouds of stress or awkwardness. It's worse than a blind date sometimes. Which I also need.

Injury doubts. What if it gets worse. What if there's way more wrong than people think. Why is there still a bruise, what about... aw, to hell with it. I have a sweet ankle boot, check it out.

WORK! Is work changing drastically? Will I be able to walk in and do my job my first day back? Will there be a need for me? Can I lose my job to injury? What if... happens? Will I still like my co-workers?

So many weird, zany thoughts... I'd like to hear from you all.

--Keith

Five years later.

2009-09-19T14:35:24Z

Five years ago. Also a poem that goes along with that.

Approx. four years ago.

Approx. two years ago.

Tomorrow... year five begins.

Miss you, Dad.

--Keith

A random meme, getting to know you...

2009-09-02T12:22:13Z

1. Leave me a comment saying anything random, like your favorite lyric to your current favorite song.
2. I respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better.
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and offer to ask someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be asked, you will ask them five questions.

Actual e-mail I received...

2009-08-26T13:40:38Z

From: saritatynonuzh@gmail.com
Subject: orange

A help calculates across the feeling member. A science stalls above a flag!

I think this might be the first English this person has ever typed and they wasted it by sending me this message.

My take on the Michael Vick signing... the next day.

2009-08-14T14:08:26Z

I'm going to keep this brief.

I get it, Eagles. You were but a touchdown away from going to the Super Bowl last year and you wanted a player who can provide that extra spark, that extra element you can't gameplan accordingly for, the player who can spell your quarterback if he struggles or gets hurt. If need be you wanted a player who can line up in many positions -- a second coming of "Slash", if you will, at a time where multiple threat players are being elevated because of their new-found worth in the Wildcat offense generation.

But why did you get a player who has more baggage than Princess Vespa? Why did you decide on a guy who's spent 20 months in Leavenworth, Kansas, doing dishes and pressing license plates instead of eluding the defense and finding the open man?

I am sure Vick has been spending his time working out and seeking guidance from Tony Dungy, but the reality is he's been as close to football as the rest of the general population has for the past 20 months -- plopped on a couch, being mesmerized by the first-and-ten line while announcers tell him how they would go about solving a 2nd and 14 while Terry Bradshaw readies yet another stagnant joke for the halftime show. This isn't going to turn out to be another story like Kurt Warner's because Vick's entire football development (and, clearly, he needed some... the hype had been foiled on Vick's skills and playmaking before he was sent to the big house) completely stopped and now has to be reset under the guidance of Andy Reid, who's pretty much been on the hot seat for five years. I wonder how unbearable that seat got Thursday Night.

This just does not seem like a football-savvy move to me for a team that is desperate to follow in the footsteps of it's in-state professional sports peers and get that trophy. Rather, it looks like the Eagles got too attached to it's city's slogan, and now the City of Brotherly Love's gridiron gang will have to deal with zealots all across the country who are ready to start spewing hateful, crude phrases that would make the late George Carlin cringe. But it all boils down to football, and one little question: Is the free agent pool so bad that you had to snag a guy who has been out of his element for 20 months, or did you just want to expedite his bankruptcy proceedings and hope to get a win or two out of the deal?

Not a great move by the Eagles in my book... Hopefully every person who so much as wears an Eagles jersey this month is ready to hear the worst from the world.

--Keith

Hugging: A step-by-step guide to not freaking people out

2009-08-11T09:59:32Z

We've all been there before or know someone who has been there before:

"So, last night someone violated my personal bubble by hugging me."

Anyone could be a potential offender, from family members to friends who haven't seen each other in a while to awkward first dates. It's known as a deal breaker, because if you mess up a hug it could permanently affect not only a relationship but future endeavors. (Example: You try to give a friendly hug to a girl you think is excited to see you. Guess what? She's not. And neither are her really attractive friends anymore, sucker.)

Surely there are thousands of ways to give a hug, here are a few ways you can ensure she's not freaked out about wrapping her arms around you, and here's how you can make sure all that work you did talking with her does not go to waste.

PLEASE NOTE: This is a guide for when a guy tries to hug a girl. Same sex hugs are far less interesting and provide far less critical thought.

1. How well do you know the girl? Does she even remember your name? Are you sure she's the real thing and not just some girl you hope you know? Physical contact is tough to deal with sometimes, especially when you haven't seen someone in a while and have no idea what they've been up to and/or gone through. The past does mean something.

2. Gauge the situation. If she looks busy and doesn't seem like she wants to be bothered (cell phone call, group of friends, other excuse) then just wave and move on. If she waves back, good work. If she says your name, then it's alright to proceed.

3. Does she have anything in her hands? Most likely yes. Make it easy for her to appreciate the moment and try giving her a half-hug to the side she has nothing going on with.

4. Don't hold on like it's mountain climbing -- we're talking two or three soft pats on the back at most. Nobody wants to be held like they're a defensive lineman attempting to sack Tom Brady.

5. SAY SOMETHING. If you come up to a girl you'd better be prepared to say something. If you're walking up to a girl with a hug, she's actively giving you all her attention, so you'd better recognize that by at least talking to her for a little bit. Small talk counts.

6. Make it seem like it matters to her. Don't wander with your eyes so much. Just focus on her unless a fight breaks out or someone screams something. If that happens, always return your attention to the girl.

7. Make her laugh, somehow. I am serious about this -- take a risk, make her think a good thought, make it so she is rewarded by seeing you. Don't insult her intelligence by saying too many crazy things or going into too much detail on small-talk, because trust me, it is not worth it.

8. Always ask who she is with. Maybe you'll meet a really cool person and it shows you care about her friends.

9. If things aren't going so well, always say goodbye and good to see you. It gives you hope for next time.

10. The girl decides if you get a hug at the end of the conversation or not. Don't try to force her into a decision one way or another.

11. Smile, dammit.

12. If she introduced you to any of her friends, wave to them and say their names as they go. They'll like that AND it will prove to the girl you were listening to her.

13. A dudes hands should be anywhere above the small of a girl's back. The girl should keep their hands above the butt but that changes depending on how tall the guy is.

14. Remember it's a hug, not a takedown. Firmly plant both feet and square to the hug you don't fall onto the girl or she doesn't fall onto you. Be professional about it. Don't lean.

15. Don't be offended if you don't get a hug. Be challenged and try to work your way towards it.

Obviously rules change depending on your circumstance and sometimes these don't apply at all, but just remember one simple rule: It's a show of affection and friendship, and that's all it is.

--Keith

Writer's Block: Memo to Myself

2009-08-10T10:31:57Z

If you could travel back in time, what advice would you give to your younger self?

View 561 Answers

Keith: Start keeping a compilation of your writing. Trust me.
Don't chase blondes. Go for something less typical and more wild.
Brace yourself emotionally -- There's a reason why they say life is hard.
Nope, the Mariners and Seahawks haven't won a championship yet.
Stay focused and disciplined.
Don't stay too long at the Sunset Car Wash.
Do a sit-up.

--Keith

These are the things I am cursed to think about...

2009-08-08T03:17:10Z

Here's an idea... it might strike some of you as funny but I'm going to give it a shot. Sort of like a ramblings post.

I wonder why...

--Some people you talk to are pissed you don't know exactly what they're talking about and either feel the need to explain it to you like you're a three-year-old or just don't talk to you. Obviously we didn't have the same life experiences, so if you could, either take the time to talk to me like a human and tell me what you're thinking in plain speak or don't talk to me at all. If you want to hear me talk, just ask me some meaningless throwaway question.

--There's nothing reporting the good news in this town except for a weird radio ad on at 2:30 AM where some radio guy talks about "The good in people" and either makes up a fictional account of someone who's supposedly living in Bellingham or tells us about someone who we should commission a statue for.

--Girls in clubs act the way the do. Don't be all crazy when someone dances near you, don't be all uppity when you think the drink's not strong enough, don't act all weird when someone you don't think is Mr. Right hits on you. If you have a boyfriend, stay attached to him. If you're out with girlfriends, feel flattered when a guy picks you out and buys you a drink. If you've got to go to the bathroom, say so, but don't promise a guy you'll dance with him again unless you mean it.

--People think there's such a thing as "private conversations" when they post something on a friend's wall. Guess what? Nope. When you write something on a friend's wall, or comment on something, or give out your secret recipe for ginger snaps, every friend of yours, friend of theirs, and celebrity wannabe sees it. Even the person you were talking about probably saw that.

--Some people can be so wrong even after they have been advised and proven their way isn't the right way. As a matter of fact, I often wonder why some people just don't work as hard as they can when they obviously need the money.

--Some days just downright suck. I mean, it's nobody's fault and nobody harshed someone, but sometimes people wake up and treat everyone as if they kicked their dog (or cat). Why can't people just smile a little bit more? Believe it or not, happiness is as contagious as the flu but a whole lot nicer to deal with.

--People can't survive without twitter. OH NOES WEBSITE OUTAGES that's been going on since the beginning of the internet, if you can't figure out a contingency plan when either a website a piece of electronics doesn't work then what are you going to do when your cell phone is out of range while camping? Oh, not go camping, I got it.

--We're going on and on about the rising unemployment rate almost hitting 10%. Doesn't that mean more than 90% of us are either gainfully employed or consider ourselves self-employed? (If you're passionate about this, please don't firebomb me with doom and gloom. Not on this note.)

--That Adrian Peterson commercial where he's running at us in super slow motion with muscles rippling isn't played constantly. Oh, wait, it is.

--The Seattle Mariners are probably going to finish above .500, yet I am going to be extremely angry about it because the Mariners are not in the playoffs.

--The Seattle Seahawks are not going to be as injured as they were last year yet people expect them to be as bad as they did last year. Maybe worse.

--I am going to work every hour I can this fall and winter. Sorry if I disappear into obscurity but it's how I make my green.

--Keith

Random thought...

2009-07-29T14:44:48Z

Pitching through pain is smart if you want to stop playing baseball within the year.

INSIDE JOKE LOLZ

--Keith

salivar @ 2009-07-12T06:57:00

2009-07-12T13:53:27Z

Do I work too hard?

Airing a fool out

2009-05-18T06:08:47Z

Life's full of surprises, like rainbows and popular culture. I got myself a surprise in my e-mail inbox last week.

I had a weak moment after the Vancouver Canucks, the sports team that's helping me fill the void of the Seattle Supersonics skipping town, dropped game six of their series against the Chicago Blackhawks, effectively ending their season. I was watching the game at Boston's Pizza where a very interesting and attractive waitress, who's name shall remain withheld because this isn't about her, it's about what happens next. I figure I have no idea when this person works next and I'd like to see her again so I do the only thing I can think to do:

Missed connections post on craigslist.

Here's the post:

"Hey. You thought I was at Boston's for a long long time, you told me you hadn't showered in two days, you thought it was hard 'choking down a beer' after you got off duty and you gave me a frown when the Canucks lost to the Blackhawks 7-5. Then you gave me a nice hug.

Thank you for making me smile. That's all I have to say. Tell me more about your supervisor position sometime.

Also what's up with your tattoos?"

Yeah, I know, cue sadtrombone.com up for me wallowing in defeat one more time. Can't get a win, can't get a date. But it gets better.

Saturday I was waking up to a blessed morning cursing the fact I had work that night when I receive an e-mail from one Jordan Neff titled "bostons". I think it's her pissed off jealous boyfriend, but nope. It's totally different.

In a message dated 05/15/09, jordan neff (onlymarmot@yahoo.com) wrote:

"booobs. you have them. if you want her. get rid of them... and the vag.

k thanks

k bye

ps. i hate Canucks (sp?) and the Blackhawks...."

So here's my public response to that:

Dear Mr. Neff, if that is your real name:

Who the hell checks out other guys, let alone other guys boobs, in a public place? You, sir, have yourself some kind of issue where it looks like you forgot to write english because you are too busy looking at male breast sizes. I hope you re-focus yourself and begin concentrating on important things in life, like conventional english, because that helps you get jobs. Staring at dudes helps you lose jobs.

Or just stop taking a look at my chest. By the way my friends think my tits are the shit.

Also why are you watching that game if you hate both teams? Get a grip, son, and spend your time away from work doing things you like. It was a fairly nice day.

--Keith

So if you want to send him a little note the address is real and his facebook profile is public... onlymarmot@yahoo.com. Jordan Neff. Ass. Hole.

--Keith

News

2009-05-04T07:22:30Z

So here we go! I have had a lot to complain about over the past couple days but NOT TODAY.

My friend got engaged -- http:/wheresweimer.blogspot.com -- he is also a pretty good writer.

My friend won a basketball autographed by some Seattle Seahawks and some high schoolers.

The Mariners won in FIFTEEN innings. Wow.

That is all from me for now more later yes bye.

Knee answers

2009-04-07T20:15:27Z

Here we go!

Dr's appt. today at 1:45 PM. Will keep you all posted about what the verdict is. (Prediction: PAIN.)

--Keith

A lot of ideas, a little focus

2009-04-06T13:22:43Z

So here we go.

Firstly, I am sure you all want to hear about the knee. So I will tell you. It's still attached to my leg!

Slam basketball season started up with a loss. It's kind of a little bit of a mess right now but I'm sure the team will do better once they get everyone back (two players still playing in other leagues, one player injured).

My younger brother came up to spend time with the family and I COMPLETELY MISSED IT.

Watched WrestleMania, that was fun stuff. Great way to spend a sunday. An even greater way? Making fun of a guy that got a pedicure.

A lot of people recently have asked "Well, what did you do to yourself?" and I have been bored with saying "My knee gave out at work" so recently I've been telling people "Oh, I tried to bust a chump on a fastbreak." We all know I am terrible at running out a fastbreak in basketball.

Gauging the rest of the internet's social networking sites:

Myspace -- Why is it bands are the only people who want to be my friend here
FaceBook -- A way to keep in touch with people without having to keep in touch with them
Twitter -- IDKMYBFFJILL? It's actually kind of turned into a big link dump
LiveJournal -- Lots of fairly raw thoughts on LiveJournal, proceed with caution

Sports really does rev its engines today, what with Opening Day of baseball, the NBA and NHL getting ready for their playoffs, the NFL draft being just around the corner, soccer doing whatever it do, the silly season of golf finally coming to an end, and SportsCenter still finding a way to ignore your favorite team.

The nation isn't interested in learning about everything your little town has to offer... that's why stereotypes were invented!

My sister is trying to plan her own wedding. And plan the route she's going to take when she kills everybody.

Here comes Monday and I couldn't be happier.

--Keith

Recapping Saturday

2009-04-01T07:49:18Z

How I reported the events of saturday LIVE:

First on Facebook:

5:10 AM: Keith Chambers got hurt at work and is now in the waiting room. Status for Solzy day four.

6:04 AM: Keith Chambers got hurt at work and is now in a hospital room at least... waiting to be seen. Status for Solzy day four.

6:32 AM: Keith Chambers got hurt at work and is now waiting to be x-rayed I think... status for Solzy day four.

7:21 AM: Keith Chambers got hurt at work and is now waiting for the doctor to read the x-ray.

7:40 AM: Keith Chambers was told by a doctor it's just a sprain... will get a specialist to check it out. This is a relief but why has this happened so often?

10:15 AM: Keith Chambers made it out of the hospital with some cool pills and a wristband. THAT SUCKED but I guess I'm alright.

Twitter:

8:48 PM Friday: hey so i guess i am going to have an upper body exclusive workout tomorrow... i am double knee bracing in preparation for work #workout

4:24 AM: Hey. I got hurt at work and am now at the hospital. Knee blew out. Not good times. Will keep you posted.

5:20 AM: I can't feel anything from my left knee on down to foot except for the occasional twinge of pain. Fun! How's your weekend?

5:27 AM: Doctor said he thought the knee felt stable so it's got to be something small... I am preparing to hear a monster bad prognosis.

5:29 AM: I can't bend the knee or move the leg without feeling pain... It is indeed like some support structure is not working any more.

5:39 AM: By the way I am super tired and would love to have been in bed... wrong bed to be in right now.

6:30 AM: The x-ray technician put up the modesty curtain. We might be here a while. With only one shoe on.

6:36 AM: Knee strain. But why has it happened so often and why does it hurt so bad? Specialist will know I hope.

9:29 AM: so i am back home and things are normal. i feel beaten today, lots of plans i may have had just ate the curb

And, finally, MySpace:

5:50 AM: Yeah MySpace... I got hurt at work today. My poor knee went out. Soon I will know what the diagnosis is. Will keep you posted. Lots of love.

Oh my god. God bless mobile internet. What would I have done without it? I mean, SIXTEEN updates posted in just under six hours on three web sites.

In more serious news I've missed ten hours of work since the injury and filled out many papers. Also I have answered many questions including "marital status" many, many times. Got a bag of frozen corn wrapped 'round my leg.

--Keith

Hope this comes out right...

2009-03-21T14:05:01Z

So here's a depressing thought: What if my spring goes like this: When I'm not working, I'm sleeping. When I'm not sleeping, I'm working.

The fact I even thought that was a possibility is just... ugh. Wow. Man attached.

It will be a waste of a spring if that indeed happens. Imagine me just working or sleeping while the weather gets nice and people get happy. And there will be me, a sad sack of myself, trying to sleep for one more hour before I have to take off and do something for dough. Forget going anywhere or having any social interaction... I have to get my money.

Wow, I can't fathom that. Someone, if you see this happening to me, please knock me over and drag me out to a golf course, bar, or even a park so I can experience life the way it should be... away from work, even for a little while.

--Keith

Ramblings you should read

2009-03-18T15:02:59Z

So, since nobody asked, here's what's happened the past three St. Patrick's Days:

2007: Watched some of the NCAA Tournament, worked at Slam game where the Slam beat the Hollywood Fame in the second round of the ABA Playoffs, met up with brothers for car bombs and Guinness then proceeded to have "Night of Dorks" where we all sat around, drank beer and played video games.

2008: Met up with brothers again, this time went to La Fiamma, drank beers, got a free pizza (by mistake, I think), went to Uisce to drink one more beer, then this dude played the bagpipes and broke every window in the place. (No, not really, but he played bagpipes [loud] into a microphone [dead]).

2009: Announced a soccer game, then went to work and worked through the night.

Which one of these things sucked most?

Also since nobody asked, some more interesting stuff I have been thinking:

--Wow, Charles Barkley makes The Golf Channel infinitely more watchable.

--Bob's waitresses. Keep on doing what you're doing because it's working.

--Work is getting tough but I do it for the kids. (So I can help youth sports regularly)

--New songs just aren't deep. They're shallow like a drop of water.

--Hope I can at least watch some of the NCAA Tournament. I'm freaking busy.

--Joe Posnanski is the best sports writer alive.

--Keith

Hahahahaha...

2009-02-28T11:18:11Z

Writer's Block: My Journey to Greatness

2009-02-10T10:47:41Z

Greatness is not a destination, but a journey. What do you do for your family, career or community that you’re most proud of?