| Almost four. |
[27 Apr 2012|08:44am] |
DISCLAIMER: This does not reflect the views/opinions of Kroger/Fred Meyer. It is merely one employee's opinions.
I have been working at Fred Meyer for almost four years at night, with a couple of weeks spent working daytime hours for light duty. I try to be pretty good about working. I made a mistake "Wednesday night" of starting in one department, working only the fresh freight, and then going on to do other things. I didn't look critically at the department (from what I have heard some ordnance blew up, causing a huge mess, blowing a large hole in the floor and smelling terrible. At least that's what my PIC and other co-worker tried to tell me) and heard about it from my PIC. He offered this whopper of a statement:
"Keith, I know you're tired, but you've gotta make a choice... Sports or this."
I am glad I didn't answer him right there, because the answer is always sports.
Here's the deal with me. I work overnights at Fred Meyer. It sucks. Most of the people are pretty anti-social. I don't smoke, so there's yet another large group of people I don't hang out with. Very few times are people happy to be there. There's no motivation at all to better myself considering I am at the top of my payscale and have absolutely zero chance of being a manager. At least, that's what I deduce, and I think I know where I stand in the world of Fred Meyer. A lot of people still ask me what it is I do.
When I help out with sports the opposite is true. People are happy to see me and want to improve on something, everyone's pretty excited and upbeat, nobody smokes, everyone's social, and people listen to what I have to say. I don't get payed for it (yet) but that doesn't really matter. I am confident and very focused when I am working within the world of sports -- it's a great feeling. People notice what I do in the sports world and consider me to be pretty good at it.
Now, which of these scenarios would you want to be in more often? Or at least a lot? Yeah, I thought so. I get crapped on all the time at work and deal with the same people every... single... night. Some of them are cool, but most of them are not. If I ever venture to my workplace when the rest of society goes to shop I hear the constant strain of "Aren't you here a little early?", "You're a little early" and "IT LIVES!" So, to sum up, my relationship with people in and around the work part of my life is not exactly the most enjoyable. Add to the fact that those people at work are pretty much the only people I regularly see (because we're the only ones alive during the hours we work) and this makes for an absurd situation. Recently it has been more absurd because I have requested time off to live like a normal human being and it has been denied. I have a request for Mother's Day Weekend off that is still "Pending". Hopefully it becomes "Approved" when the new schedule comes out. If it does not I will be "beyond pissed yet again".
I was talking with a woman whom I have worked with in the Track and Field landscape for five years. We were talking about work, and she said the most true thing I think I have ever heard anyone say about it: "That job is killing you." If you ask ten friends of mine who know my work situation nine will probably say they feel bad for me, don't know how I do it, or can't understand why I do it.
On or about June six, 2012, I will have worked at Fred Meyer for four years. That's four years of nights, four years of not being able to socialize like a normal person, four years of daytime sleep, four years of postponed nachos, of marathon days, of vending machine lunches, of barely ever working with my "boss", of sleep deprived weeks at a time, of infomercial watching, of scaring children when I talk, of not being able to control the volume of my voice, of sleeping through normal, convenient business hours, of societal retardation, and of corporate backtalk. What do I get to celebrate that? Ten paid days off. Were I a gunslinger I'd take June 10th through 25th off using paid vacation, go as far south as the money takes me and never come back to Fred Meyer again. But since I have roots in this city I'd never do that. Also rent is due July 1st.
I am going to seek alternate employment and make some drastic changes in the whole working world thing. Granted, I have additional difficulty because I do not have a degree, but I am going to try and make something work. I cannot go on working nights much longer. It has to stop soon. We sent a co-worker off to start the week with a big gift ceremony, hugs all around, and some tears. All I want when I leave is a handshake and someone to hand me a tall boy of Rainier when I walk out the employee entrance for the last time.
If you work with me, please do not take this as a sign that my give-a-shit is gone. I will still work hard to get the job done and work quickly and efficiently. I am just putting the world on notice that I am actively seeking an escape from working nights and they should prepare for me to rejoin them sometime in the near future. That's right, my return will be a glorious one, I cannot wait.
If anyone knows anyone who could use a technically savvy, funny, tall laborer, namedrop me. Feedback appreciated.
--Keith
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| It's not enough |
[26 Apr 2012|08:18am] |
It'll never be enough.
Work digging talons into my membrane these days. No fun.
Gotta go.
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| Still soul surfing |
[24 Apr 2012|02:16am] |
One of these days I promise to sit down and write everything.
Right now, looks like that won't happen.
When you think of me, I hope you think good thoughts because I work a lot at many different places and really don't have time for personal connections. Just throwing myself into every situation and trying to give it as much focus as I can.
No update on the potential job situation. I hope that news changes.
Hey, bed.
I love you for reading this.
--Keith
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| Pearl Jam - Black |
[11 Apr 2012|02:54am] |
"I know someday you'll have a beautiful life
I know you'll be a sun
In somebody else's life
But why, why, why...
Can't it be mine?"
Damn. Beautiful.
-Keith
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| NEW SHIT HAS COME TO LIGHT |
[09 Apr 2012|02:28pm] |
... I don't want to say too much about this, but there could be drastic changes for the better in my life. One of these is listed here:
--No more working nights
I will keep you all posted.
--Keith
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| Games I attended |
[02 Apr 2012|11:04am] |
Game Recap
I attended this game with the soccer team I have been helping out for a few years with the knowledge that, after the game, I would have to go straight to work. With that in mind, here are a couple of experiences I still remember from this game.
Lots of walking was involved in the enjoyment of this game. The head coach had this parking spot at Veca Electric, which is about twelve blocks away from CenturyLink Field, but we didn't have to pay anything. So there were twelve blocks right there... then, as we got into the stadium, the group I led walked up the ramps at CenturyLink Field instead of the stairs (which exist, and are horrible) or an escalator/elevator because the group I led were all athletes. Supposedly. I've never heard a group of people complain more about walking up ramps than they did. Especially people who are purportedly in shape. Whatever...
We had sections of seats in different areas of the "Loge", which basically was the first few rows of the upper deck. (The difference in where we were sitting is illustrated in this picture, which was taken before the first kick. I am sporting the black and white scarf, of course) I sat with the coaches, players had a big group to themselves, and some parents also had some room to themselves.
An interesting fact about this game was that it had been rescheduled from an earlier date so the Union would be able to play in a "friendly" against some great foreign soccer club, so seeing "Time may be subject to change" made me laugh.
Watching soccer with soccer coaches is interesting. Watching with basketball coaches? Now that's fun. One I've known for years was sitting next to me and said, seven minutes into the game, "This game is retarded." Clearly he knew it would not be the Sounders night, as one of our guys missed the net when he had a very, very open look at the net. The Sounders also struck the woodwork, and those were all the chances they had.
Oh yeah, we sat in a section where, if you showed a certain concession stand your ticket stub, you got free food and drink. The selections were extremely limited, but, hey, free food and drink! At a stadium! (I think this option no longer exists at a Sounders game)
As we were leaving the game some of us coaches ducked into the bathroom. One coach got in position to use a urinal, but the guy next to him said, "Hey, I put my stuff under that urinal, can you use the other one?" There are about seventy different levels of stupid I need to sort out in order to understand this. Who, in their right mind, puts their stuff under a urinal for any length of time? That guy, I guess. The coach obliged, hilariously.
Did everyone stop to use the restroom at the stadium? No, of course not. Some people decided to use the bathroom at the Jack in the Box right across the street from where we parked. I had to be the "responsible adult" and make sure everyone got back to their vehicle. Weird task.
As a final note I got to work nine minutes late. It was like walking from out of a movie theater into a bright, sun shiny day, except I was going from the dark outdoors to the very bright indoors of work. That's why the ticket stub is so beat up - I put it in my work apron after the game and didn't retrieve it from my work apron until just recently.
--Keith
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| Concepts |
[01 Apr 2012|04:50pm] |
I have this idea.
I want to take a picture of a ticket stub from a professional game I have attended and write a little bit about my experience at the game, sort of like an "If ticket stubs could talk" feature. I'll see if anything ever comes of that.
Plus I only have three ticket stubs at my immediate disposal... dang, I should really keep those. Ah well.
--Keith
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| Research is dumb. |
[26 Mar 2012|01:32pm] |
A question popped up on facebook today: "Have you bought any Skittles in the last week?" Dumb question, I know. There were three options available: "Yes," "No," and "Not sure."
If you're not sure of a candy purchase you made in the last week... wow. I don't even know what to say to that. Apparently, two percent of responders went with that! Funny. Good afternoon and happy monday. --Keith
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| Alert: Nuclear reaction imminent |
[23 Mar 2012|09:31pm] |
I think I'm about seven stupid things said to me at work from going off in an extraordinary, epic fashion.
Thankfully, spambots at twitter have my back! They say: "@salivar08 Wanna forget everything bad? Scream out then: Get free tickets here and come to 6 Flags now: @Free_SixFlags"
Yeah, I don't think I'll be doing that any time soon. Nice flag, fag.
--Keith
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| This. |
[12 Mar 2012|05:37pm] |
There's been a heap of crap I've dealt with recently. It's a bunch of emotional stuff I am sure you are tired of hearing about.
It just feels like I really am not living anymore, just working. Hard for me to deal with this, because I have tried to look for and find the good in people since, well, I started to see there was some good in people. However, it's hard to see said good in people when I have to get ready for work when that good is on display.
I work in the dark with people I have little interest in hanging or with.
I swear this has to change.
A friend of mine told me to hang in there. Another said I need a new job.
Everyone is right but me.
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| Hugs |
[06 Mar 2012|05:52pm] |
... I've been having a rough year. Hours were down a lot this year. A couple checks didn't come in this month for other work. I've been feeling the sting of not having a lot of money. I hide it when I go out in public, but when I get home... ugh. I turtle up when I come home sometimes. Just turn the lights down, go to sleep for a long time, hope things go away, think bad thoughts. These are tougher times than I envisioned.
Today I went to the High School I coach soccer at in the fall to talk with someone about some special project he wants me to work on. Before I could even get in the door I ran into a senior soccer player who gave me a big hug and talked with me for a while. I think I spit a bit of fortune cookie on her near the end of our conversation, but she didn't really react at all. We talked about the upcoming sports seasons I am going to be working on and my upcoming busy-ness. I got into the school, walked up a spiral staircase to the top floor, and all of a sudden, around the corner, here come two sophomore players I helped coach last season.
One of them is surprised to see me and goes DELIRIOUS at the sight of me. I can't even explain it. There's a Dave Matthews Band song entitled "Crash into Me" that is quite a song in my eyes and ears... then again I'm a sap for that stuff. Well, she literally Crashed into Me going for a hug -- she's, like, 5' 5", I'm 6' 4", and she just threw herself at me. I felt lucky I was two steps away from the staircase, because she almost knocked me right back down that thing. As I was dealing with her, I said, "I've been waiting all year for someone to react like that when I entered the room." Her friend is doubling over with laughter while she's going bananas. I'm standing there, looking confused. It was a priceless moment that made me forget about every bad thing for a while. It's funny how little I realize how much of a difference I've made until I go somewhere that I've made a difference at.
By the way -- the friend I was initially trying to see? He wasn't there that day. Had a sub. Kind of weird. Oh well.
--Keith
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| Writer's Block: Say What? |
[06 Mar 2012|05:17pm] |
"Are you blind?"
Yes, I have a lazy eye, but no, I am not blind.
A girl asked this question to me when we were both at Cap Hansen's, a dingy bar on the sidestreets of downtown. She was leaving, I was coming in. She looked into my eyes and saw my uncommonly-placed pupils. She assumed I was blind. I reassured her I wasn't. Most awkward conversation ever.
--Keith
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| Things that are light hearted |
[31 Jan 2012|06:36pm] |
Thank you, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1) logical_choice
I'm running a test (not really - it's just a meme) to see who's reading my posts. So, if you read this, leave me a one-word comment about your day that starts with the third letter of your LJ USERNAME. Only one word please. Then repost so I can leave a word for you. Don't just post a word and not copy - that's not as much fun!
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| My first stage jumper |
[23 Jan 2012|08:14am] |
I was asked to work Security at the Mount Baker Theatre on January 21st, 2012, for a rock show. Since it had been a while since I have done so, I agreed with the hope something would happen that would stand out and give me fuel for the upcoming week. I had no idea.
Let's start with the amount of sleep I got between basketball practice and work at the theater: one hour, because someone had botched something else and it was somehow up to me to deliver the news. (Story for another time.) So anyway, I was rolling around in bed at around 3:15 PM when I decided that it wasn't worth it to try and sleep until 5 PM anymore. So I flipped on the tube and watched the tail end of Canucks-Sharks and Duke-FSU. Both games had batshit crazy endings, which was good. I showered and got ready to roll into the Theatre and do my security work.
The rock show tonight had two cover bands: One was a Metallica cover band, the other was an AC/DC cover band. I'd never heard of either tribute band, but I have heard of Metallica and AC/DC, so there's that. I also know these shows attract a lot of people who are pushing 50 but acting 20, which is a bad combination. My surveying of the crowd revealed that I was correct... a little bit.
The Metallica cover band came on. They played their songs and then had an interlude where they said "If you like us, check us out on facebook," which has to be the LEAST METAL THING A METAL TRIBUTE BAND COULD EVER SAY. ALso they played a couple Metallica songs I didn't really recognize, but that might be because I positioned myself in front of a four foot speaker which was not a vocal monitor. Also, during the Metallica tribute, there was a mild scuffle which the other security guard took care of. I wasn't really in the zone, per se, at this time, but I was getting there slowly.
The second band, "Problem Child," came on, and they were a tribute to AC/DC with fireworks. I knew that the crowd was going to be really into it, so crowd control was amazingly important so it didn't turn into another Blue October show, where I was sandwiched between eleven hundred people, all crowding the main stage, screaming. To remedy this, we decided the aisles and seats would be places where people could stand and rock out... not the front part between the stage and first row of people because we didn't want people in the first couple rows to stare at backsides all night, we wanted them to watch the band. Amazingly, we kept the area pretty clear, save for a couple people, but it wasn't too terrible.
Another issue that came up was people dancing right in front of people who were sitting down and watching the show. Uh, people sitting, you are at a rock show, get up. I tried to help out and made sure those sitting down had clear sightlines... that had some success, amazingly. But still, you're at a rock show, a thousand people are standing around you and you aren't? I'll never, for the life of me, understand why that happened... but I had to protect the interests of the dancing crowds and the sitting folk. Very interesting.
As far as things that weren't interesting, I noticed there were a couple of people who, from their seats, were trying to instruct me on how to do my job. Thankfully I had earplugs so I couldn't hear them, I just watched them flail and make signals like a baseball umpire. I shrugged their constructive criticism off and kept the hordes from spilling over in front of the stage. Believe it or not, the hordes were left at bay.
At around this time, my boss for the night gave me marching orders for after the show. She told me to go out the side exit of the theatre and guard the exterior stage door after the show. Matt would guard the other stage door so no unsavory, drunken masses could get at the performers when they're trying to wind down. I was trying to identify what the last song was when this 6' 5" dude comes up to me and says "*mumble mumble* ON MY SHOULDERS." I point to my ear and I hear it again: "*mumble mumble* ON MY SHOULDERS." He then flashes a backstage pass and, apparently, all is well...? Here's where me not doing any research about the band hurt me a little: In typical AC/DC shows, Angus Young (the crazy guitar player for AC/DC) rides around on the shoulders of a roadie (video here) near the end of a long set. Well, I saw the huge dude walk up to the stage, and I saw "Angus Young" walk up to him, turn around, sit on his shoulders, and... then I realized what was happening, and it was good. I was pretty stone faced for the entire performance, but when "Angus" got back on stage I had to clap a little.
The song was winding down. I was under the impressionthere would be pyrotechnics during the final song, so I was waiting for that as a cue to get myself to the rear stage door when, all of a sudden, this guy in blue jeans and a blue t-shirt (whom I had seen up front, dancing around before) jumps on stage. First thought: "What the..." Second thought: "Stop him." So I go into attack mode as the band was finishing their song. Here's where things get really interesting.
The guy jumped on stage and went stage RIGHT immediately, looking to tell anybody how much they rocked on stage. I went from in front of the stage to on the stage in one motion in what seemed like lightning speed, also trailing the dude stage right. After he shook the first guy's hand, nobody knew where he was going. I got my hands wrapped around him immediately (before he knocked the pyrotechnic controls over, which could have happened) and got really mean all of a sudden. I forced him backstage but, once I realized I had him, I also realized I had no idea where I was going with him. Thankfully, one of the tech guys opened the door between the stage and the hallway so I knew where to go.
A word about the stage jumper: As I was trying to get him out of the theatre, he was telling me "Hey, man, I'm not hurting anyone!" as if it's okay to just jump on stage when someone is performing and they don't explicitly tell you to do so. All I said to him is "You've gotta go, you've gotta go" while I muscled him to the rear door. We got to said door and I said "GET OUT." He said "But the door's locked!" I pushed on the door handle very lightly and it sprang open, looking at the guy like he's officially the biggest idiot ever. I get him outside, close the stage door behind me, and this is where my skills of conversation abandon me.
The guy looks at me and says "You have to do that once in your life..." I said: "Just go, just go..." while he tried to talk more about it and explain himself to me. I shut him up and said, "Look, I am not going to do anything bad to you if you just go." I was beyond pissed at this guy for continuing to talk to me after what he had done, but HE was trying to explain that he "had to do it once in his life." I didn't care for anything this guy said after that. Pretty much every word he said, I rebuffed with a "Just go." The thing is HE KEPT TALKING TO ME. So I said "Just go" many times, with varying levels of volume. I finally got him out beyond that sandstone behind the theatre BUT HE KEPT TALKING. Oh my god. I stuck to my guns, even when he said "Wait, what about you? You want me to walk you back inside?" "JUST GO." "But I'm looking out for you..." "JUST GO." Finally he's out of talking range and someone else pops out behind the stage door, this guy doing so in order to get a smoke break. Since it looks like he knows what he's doing and is dressed in proper backstage attire (Black on black on black, pretty much) I tell him about what happened, and he had missed the entire thing, so I am trying to explain it while my adrenalin levels go from "INTRUDER ALERT" to "business as normal."
A minute or so later, the technical director who helped me get the guy outside comes out, looks at me, and goes "Nice catch, Keith." I offer myself a moment to think "Yeah, that was a good job." And finally return to the stage area, where I can see the pyro finale. After the first fourteen pyros I was like, "Okay, time to get outside." This was where I realized I was hanging out backstage in merely a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt -- nothing else. I was okay with that until someone asked me about it.
Final notes: The first people out of the theatre who walked my way asked me if I caught the stage jumper. My response? "Yes, yes I did." I'll always remember him: a 5' 11", 245 lb. piece of crap, mounted on my wall. Apparently he went around the theatre and got back in for the finale. He saw me after the show and said "Hey man, maybe I'll see you again and you can throw me out again!" I did not respond, that man is dead to me.
Just another night at the MBT... --Keith
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| Thoughts |
[03 Jan 2012|05:24am] |
I had two bad dreams. One was that I was housing Andrew Luck, who turned out to be stashing his illicit drugs in my crappy room. Weird. My mom was disappointed.
Second dream: Co-worker points a shotgun at me, pulls the trigger, nothing happens. I exhaustedly tell my boss, someone else goes home because of it.
Weird city. Hope these dreams don't mean anything serious...
I watched last night's Fiesta Bowl with a friend of mine last night. I held out hope that game would be the "best game of the day" and... well, it's debatable as to whether the game actually succeeded in being the greatest game, but it was top three, easy. I almost feel bad for the kicker, but, really, what does a Fiesta Bowl victory give Stanford? Andrew Luck is out of there after that game. Money? I am sure there are a couple lonely, fame desperate rich boosters who can compensate you for your perceived losses. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Still, bad ending for that kid. You could tell he had no chance on field goal #2.
I still have nothing new to report on the dream job front... I will let you all know if new developments develop.
My brother enjoyed my "fancy beer write-up" and that makes me happy. I should do that again sometime.
I should do this again, sometime.
--Keith
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| Next year -- hopes and dreams |
[22 Dec 2011|04:20pm] |
I know this year still has days left in it, but I've been thinking about this for a couple days and do not want to lose this thought. It might actually pay off!
I've been doing a lot of thinking about the upcoming year and what I hope to accomplish from it. I hesitate to call any of these "New Year's Resolutions" because those get tossed aside in record time. Hopes and dreams... they last for the long haul. So, here goes nothing, a list of what I hope to accomplish in 2012.
I hope to change my walking weight from the range of 225-230 lbs. down to 205-210. It can be done, I must believe and re-focus myself.
I hope to leave this state for a while and do something memorable, like watching "my" team play on the road, or visiting some famous area that isn't the Mall of America.
I hope to get back to that form of writing I had that was edgy, funny, and a joy to read, and to write that way often.
I hope to be a better friend and a better man, not just settling for interaction via facebook and counting that as "Oh, I talked with my friend today." No, no, you didn't.
I hope to either get a new job next year or come to peace with my current one and be appreciated for being me instead of forced into being "the android" they want me to be.
I hope I find the girl I can comfortably say "I love you" to... and she says it back.
I hope to be a little more open with my emotions and not hide relevant things about my emotions from some people. If I admire someone, I'll let them know. This also extends to work: If I can pick up a skill from someone I'll let them know they helped me get better at life by showing me how to do this or that.
I hope I keep my emotions under control in 2012 and somehow live an emotion-enriched life without flying off the handle at somebody.
I hope I can learn how to teach what I know and make it sound like something someone can follow. One of my little quotes from this year is "the less I have to think about something I know, the better I am at doing it," And to really teach something to someone, you first have to know what you're talking about and critically think about the item in question.
I hope I can still make people smile in 2012, because I love seeing that.
--Keith
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| No sleep yes write |
[23 Nov 2011|04:10am] |
Let's get this out of the way: it is my birthday, that is true. 28! Caution, old guy coming through.
Seriously though, this birthday caps a very eventful year in which bad things happened more often than I had hoped they would. Hopefully when I update this next year the opposite is true.
To you, the reader... Thanks for helping me make it through. It is true that some of my best friends here are people I have never met. Know that when I get around to seeing you I will unleash my gratitude.
Happy birthday to me, but thank you, everyone.
Posted via m.livejournal.com.
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| Back pain makes me miserable |
[17 Nov 2011|08:53am] |
Ugh. I hate when back pain hits me when I'm trying to wake up. Totally shuts me down before the day starts. I'm 27. Turning 28 Wednesday. My lower back feels 71.
I posted a two word year in review for twitter. It was amazing.
Seahawks lose two linemen, holy crap this is bad.
Six days until my birthday.
--Keith
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[25 Oct 2011|01:46am] |
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You ever feel like you blew it with someone - not in a "I blew up our relationship" way, but in a "I just trashed a really nice friendship with a cool girl" way. That second one fits me pretty well. The friendship? The one with Josie. That depresses the crap out of me to no end. Deep, contented sigh... And it's time to move on. --Keith
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